im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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