This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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