Say something about gay babies.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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