I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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