the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
