I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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