You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
