and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
