at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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