3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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