All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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