I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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