I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
