"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
