good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
