wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
