When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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