Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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