It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
