my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
