I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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