***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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