Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Small penises have feelings too.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize