You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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