Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we made out on top of his cat.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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