we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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