i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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