I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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