Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
