So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
