Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
