I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
