i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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