You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
