He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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