I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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