Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
