I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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