My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
