what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
