You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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