Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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