You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
