is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
