How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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