You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize