We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im holly from the hills drunk
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
