I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
