I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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