his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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