Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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