I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
