Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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