Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize