You really coming over, don't trick.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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